It all began when we were offered two girls on special guardianship, and our life was never to be the same.
Before the girls arrived we had what we thought was a full life, and no one else to really think about. Now we can’t remember or imagine our life without them.
It’s the little things that make you happy. Watching them in their first school play, taking them on their first holiday, seeing them enjoy new experiences - and us having new experiences, too. The girls bring a new lease of life to our family.
After two years of having the girls and seeing the changes we’d made to their lives we decided we wanted to help improve more children’s lives, so we decided to foster. Working with children can be hard, but when you see a change in a child’s smile you just know it’s all worth it.
Going through the assessment process (for both the special guardianship and then for fostering) was something neither of us were looking forward to, but right from the start the social worker made us feel at ease. We found out a lot about ourselves during the process, and even got to learn little things about each other that don’t usually come up in a relationship. It has definitely made us stronger as a couple.
We were always worried what people would think about two gay men having children, especially the other parents at school. Would we be the talk of the school? What will the girls say to their friends when they’re asked why they have two dads? All of the questions they may be asked ran through our heads. But why should we care what people think? We are changing children’s lives, and we actually received nothing but positivity from the Mums and Dads at school. In fact all the Mums want to be our best friends (as you know, it’s fashionable to have a gay best mate!) and when quizzed our girls just say “We have two Dads because we do, and that’s where we are happy”. The kids are so much more resilient about it than we gave them credit for.
We can’t say it’s a stress-free life, as having children is never easy. Our life has changed so much. No more just popping off on holiday whenever we want - now it’s all kid’s clubs and mud pies... and we love it!!!
With thanks to Diverse Care